Have you ever felt like Charlotte? You know your value, your worth, your intelligence, your capacity to both give and receive love. But none of that seems to matter, because as far as the world is concerned, you are pigeon-holed into the category of a single woman with no prospects. Possibly a burden to your family. Possibly not. But either way, you have no fortune (bye bye hot gold-diggers and sugar mama seekers!) and absolutely no romantic hope for the future.
The ever-watchful and ever-nosy are waiting for you to get a cat or two (or ten) - if you are going to be a cliche, why not tick all the boxes?
It is entirely possible that the only person you can REALLY talk to is your dog! Who else is there - besides your more beautiful and charming bestie, of course? Yes, Lizzie is your friend, your best friend, but why does she have to be quite so gorgeous. And amusing. And charismatic?!
Darn it!
I think it safe to say that at some point in our lives most all of us feel a bit Charlotte-ish, which is crappy enough if experienced once in a while. But what if the feeling is recurrent, especially after a breakup or a long dating drought? What do you do? Settle for someone who is not The One? A nice guy, but by no means the man of your dreams. A Mr Bingley type, shall we say? Handsome. Sweet. Agreeable. Not objectionable, but not swoon-worthy either. The kind of guy who dances with you at the club and then ditches you for your best friend - much like when Bingley chose Jane after dancing with Charlotte...
Solutions aside how do you spend your daily life? Pining away for some dream existence that bears no resemblance to your current reality? Do you sit at home with your cats, crocheting matching hats for you and your future fantasy boo (since you have already sorta kinda planned the wedding AND chosen names for your future fantasy children)? Or do you go out and make something happen, especially if you are approaching thirty or in my case, the mid thirties (why did that just make me chuckle?!). And when embracing this new Go Out and Make Something Happen Theory, who are you making it happen with? The first half-way suitable bloke that comes your way, even though he can not find your bell, let alone ring it?
Wait a minute! Hold the phone. Take a breath. Why does this article sound lonely and depressing? Just because you are a thirty-something singleton doesn't mean you are obliged to be the stereotypical cliche of a single childless woman. No need for bitterness or regret or desperation: this is the time of our lives! We can make the best of things just like Charlotte did. Grab the bull by the horns. And no, we don't have to live next door to Lady Catherine or marry Collins to do it. We can grab the bull’s horns in small ways. Like plan a vacation with your bestie. Or start a journal to get in touch with the fabulousness that is you. Maybe join a nearby club or group. There are plenty of local groups for hobbies and what not. Maybe you are more introverted, so learn a new language or delve into a new book on that growing to-read list. Take yourself out for dinner or a movie! Get dressed up and go to the ballet. Stroll around a museum. Visit the park.
These little things make the single life worth living. And yes, you CAN be single and have a life! We should thank our lucky stars that we live in a time when it is no longer necessary to marry someone (anyone!) to gain respectability, social standing and financial stability.
And please, don't become an Elinor Dashwood either, secretly pining away for your crush, only to find out he already has a girlfriend. Do not waste precious time hoping that one day he chooses you. Make your own life happen instead of waiting for it to happen to you. You Got This! Go forth and conquer...
With love, Ms. Austen's Homegirl
